27 months is a long time, and it's also not enough. When I began the Peace Corps, two years felt like an eternity. I knew that if I thought about it as an 821 day countdown, it would take forever, so I put the idea of even returning back to America out of my mind. I put my old life in the past and began a new life here in Fiji. As a result, I was almost shocked when the final day actually arrived and I was expected to return to the U.S. I'm glad I jumped into my service this way, it made my experience that much better, but in the end it has made it so much harder to leave.
There have been hard days in Fiji, and although I mostly talk about the good times, I don't want that be lost. I've missed birthdays, graduations, and other life events that I wish I could've been there for. I've had some of the lowest moments of my life after the sudden loss of a close friend. I've cried on the floor of my house when I wanted nothing more but to be home. I've been scared, lonely, and uncomfortable many times throughout these two years. Despite all of this, Peace Corps was the best decision of my life.
Some of you may have heard me say that Fiji changed my life, and I'd like to explain why that is. Moving to a new country on my own, and successfully building a life for myself here has given me a confidence that I will never forget. Living in an unfamiliar place and largely at the mercy of locals, has taught me how to trust in the goodness of strangers. Staying in a small rural town has showed me what it really means to be part of a community. Most of all, this country taught me how to be happy. Of course, I was happy in the U.S. too, but this was different. For the first time, I had to make my own happiness, I had no family or friends, no luxuries or indulgences, no "comfort zone." All I had was myself, and I learned that that is enough.
As I was saying goodbyes over the last week, I told everyone that I will be back. I fully intend on returning back to Fiji, but I recognize it will never be the same, and I think that is what I will miss the most. It's not just Fiji, I'll also miss being a Peace Corps Volunteer. For the last 2+ years my entire identity has been the Peace Corps, and for the next few months I think I will be almost mourning the loss of that identity. But the good news is that although my 2 years as a PCV are over, I have an entire lifetime as an RPCV (Returned Peace Corps Volunteer) ahead of me.
I want to take a moment to talk to anyone from Fiji who is reading this. I just started tearing up at the computer as I tried to think of what to say to you. I feel silly talking about the work I've given Fiji, because it is nothing compared to what you all have given me. To my many families in Fiji, you mean everything to me, and I can't thank you enough for making a space for me in your homes and hearts. I look forward to the day we meet again, sa maka ni moce, sa sota viro ga.
Now I'm talking to those of you who are considering joining the Peace Corps, or taking some other risk in your life: DO IT. Fiji is the best thing that's ever happened to me, and my memories here are my most prized possession. I wouldn't trade the last two years for anything.
Vinaka Vakalevu Viti....
Lolomas,
Elizabeth
P.S. If anyone has it seen it yet, I made this awesome video for my group as we ended our two years! Check it out!!
